I once dreamed of living in a big house with many floors, a garden, a study with walls covered with books. When five years ago my wife and I visited Sigmund Freud’s house (pictured above) in London, it became the model image of what our dream home would look like.
At some point, I dreamed of owning two Macs (one desktop and one laptop) and a huge Cinema display. And like everyone else, I have wished for a big, fancy car. To make all of this happen, I dreamed of a salary far above the one I had, and even after all the raises from my working years so far, still far above the salary I have right now.
Today, I have better dreams.
What was wrong with these dreams?
Aren’t they perfectly normal middle-class dreams?
Yes they are, and that’s why I am guessing you too might be in need of better dreams. The problem with these dreams is that they are all about buying and owning something. Something that you think would be cool — but that you don’t really need.
I know there are people living in such houses, so I think I might have been able to achieve the dream of that big house at some point in my life by switching to a better paying job, working extra long hours, and taking a huge mortgage. Then, I would be slaving away for the rest of my best years just to pay for that place.
This would be fine if owning the house was really what inspired the dream.
But it never was.
In the case of the house (or any other gorgeous looking home I can think of), it turns out the dream really is about living in a beautiful environment, reading a good book in that quiet library and sitting on the front porch looking at people passing by. Sadly, if I owned the house, I couldn’t afford to live a slow life like that — I would be working instead!
If I got myself the Apple gadgets I dreamed about, it wouldn’t make me bankrupt or turn me into a slave, but there are hidden costs: if I had that big display, I would need a desk too. And if I had a desk, I would need a room to fit it in! Not to mention that I am perfectly happy with my one and only MacBook Pro.
There are many more reasons why owning something is not the dream it first feels like: The maintenance it takes, having to worry about thieves, insurance, and all the extra troubles that come from owning something can easily turn the dream come true into a nightmare.
Better Dreams
The best of dreams have nothing to do with getting stuff.
At first that might be tough to accept: the world is filled with awesome things to long for, and I have to be honest: even though my few years old Nokia 6630 serves me perfectly, I can’t help but drool for a new iPhone 4. It’s easy to dream of material goods.
But even when it might be easier to dream for new gadgets and a bigger home — maybe because of that — those dreams have the catch: realizing a dream that is about getting something never feels as good as you imagine it will. Better dreams are dreams that feel good when you achieve them, that don’t weigh you down, and maybe most importantly, make a difference.
Better dreams are dreams about doing something.
Instead of dreaming of an awesome house, I now dream of making the time to enjoy the one I live in and to do the things I figured I was really hoping to do: to read without worrying too much about time, or to sit in the nature and enjoy the moment. Maybe one day, I will even visit Dr. Freud’s house again.
Better dreams are dreams that change the world.
If you dream about something bigger than yourself, you don’t even need to complete the dream to feel fulfilled. Even working towards making the dream come true is enough to bring passion and love to your life. The world needs your big dreams today.
Better dreams are dreams that are yours alone.
This doesn’t mean you cannot share dreams with others. It means your better dreams are the ones that rise from your own needs and your own thinking rather than just from copying what your neighbor has or is dreaming of. You don’t have to dream of the same things everyone else seems to be dreaming of. Make your dreams count!
Dream right, and keep dreaming! Figure out what your dreams are really about, and notice that you don’t need more stuff to make them happen. Then aim for those real dreams instead of the arbitrary ones instilled to you by your peers.
I know I will be cheering for you.
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This is a blog about making time and creating opportunities for things that matter (you, your family, the community around you and changing the world for the better) through minimalism, slowing down and a never ending curiosity.
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Wow, this was fantastic. I can really relate to what you said about having big dreams of “stuff”. I once wanted the expensive car, dual-Apple Cinema Displays, the Quad-Core Mac Pro, even a big parcel of land in some remote forest where I could go camping for a few weeks.
Now those dreams seem so naive and selfish it almost hurts to think about it. When I saw the picture of Dr. Freud’s house at the beginning of this post, I instantly though about the family of four that I see living on the sidewalk outside the place I’m staying; children sleeping on a piece of cloth, underneath a canvas roof strung up between two trees.
I recently read that 75% of the world’s population lives on less money than a kid working minimum-wage at McDonald’s. Seventy-five percent of the entire world!
We need more people promoting awareness around issues like this. I’m really glad to have discovered your blog and I’ve subscribed. Thank you for linking to my post!
Thank you, Raam, and glad you like the blog! The minute I finished reading your post, I knew I had to find a way to link to it in my next post.
It’s scary how when we live in wealthy countries, it’s so easy to just compare our living standards with only the people near us and forget that so many people in the world are like that family of four on the sidewalk. Somehow, huge things like that big house start to feel as if they were almost at reach, and the most natural next goal to reach for…
And all that time, it’s only the small minority of the world’s population that can even think of dreaming about these things.
This morning, Shane Pearlman (@justlikeair), posted an eye-opening link on Twitter. It fits this topic perfectly: http://www.globalrichlist.com/
Thanks Jarkko! The picture of the house above is the one I mention in my latest post. I wanted to link back to this post, but I was drawing a total blank when I wrote the post and couldn’t remember where I saw it! I added the link now. :)
Thanks for the globalrichlist.com site — I hadn’t seen it until now. It’s incredible that you need to get the annual number under $1000 before the marker even starts moving!
Great post Jarkko. I completely agree that dreams should be about doing something rather than owning something.
Thanks, Brett!