Be A Hero Dad and Have More Fun With Your Kids
It seems that this is your first time to my blog. Welcome! In this blog I will share my ideas on how you can make a living in a way that feels good to you, your family, your environment and everyone around you. If you want to know more about me and this blog, check out my about page. And if you want to stay updated on my new posts, subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for stopping by!
Being a great dad is something that every father out there is (or should be) striving for. But what exactly is a great dad?
Steve Caplin and Simon Rose think they have it figured out: a dad should be a hero that provides the fun and the spice that makes life entertaining and enjoyable.
Steve and Simon are authors of popular dad books, Dad Stuff
Check out what Steve had to say, and then share your own thoughts in the comments!
You and Simon are the dads who wrote a book about being a here to your kids. What makes a hero dad?
A hero dad is one who’s never stuck for an answer to a question - or if he is, he’ll go and look it up on Wikipedia and then find a way of making it palatable for young minds. A hero dad will always be able to come up with a game or activity, whether it’s in a car, train of plane, in a restaurant, or just around the table at home.
Why do you think it’s important for kids to see their dads as their heroes?
Kids depend on their mothers for the essential, day to day stuff: having clothes that fit and aren’t filthy, having meals on the table, patching up their wounds. But they look to their dads for the fun stuff, for the added excitement, for the spice that makes life entertaining and enjoyable.
What made you write a book on this topic?
That, really, was our motivation: how to have fun even though you’re looking after your children.
We’re both dads who work at home, and who have to look after our children during school vacations. It was during one of these that we got chatting, talking about what we could do to keep our kids amused and entertained - and between us, found we had a good store of games and pastimes. When we tried to look for more inspiration, we found there were no books on the subject. Sure, there were dull, worthy parenting books, but none that emphasized the fun part of being a dad.
That, really, was our motivation: how to have fun even though you’re looking after your children.
It was great to notice that your books build an image that great dads are in fact insanely interested in everything. Do you agree? What about dads who are really specialized in some set of skills?
Specialist dads do, of course, have one particular line of interest for their children. But they do need to make sure they don’t push this interest too far; we’ve known several musicians whose kids have been put off by their dads’ insistence that they learn an instrument, for example.
Even if you’re the best magician in your city, you can expect your kids to groan every time you bring out a new trick. It’s just the way kids are: what they grow up with is mundane and uninteresting. Don’t force your specialism on them!
But when their friends come around, let your kids bask in your reflected glory as they’re the ones who will be impressed the most.
What are you most interested in?
We’re both into music, of course. Simon’s a serious film buff, and Steve’s really into making stuff. But we’re both into games and puzzles, and this is what kids like the most.
How about your kids?
Kids are too easily sidetracked by video games, FaceBook and TV. But all our kids enjoy music, and - fortunately - they all get a kick out of trying all the games, puzzles and activities we dream up or come across for our books. Just as well - we couldn’t write the books without them!
Are there any special favorite tricks in your books that you kids just can’t get enough of?
They love magic and rubber band games, as these can be done anywhere. Some of the car games are long-standing hits, too. And, of course, big-finish games like standing on balloons and the Great Egg Trick always go down well.
Can you really stand on balloons without bursting them? Did you try all the tricks presented in your books?
Yes, we can do it - try it for yourself!
And yes, of course, we did try every single one of the tricks in the books. For each trick that appears here there are half a dozen that we rejected as being too boring, too unworkable or just too difficult.
Are all kids curious? Do you think your tips work on every child out there?
All kids are curious, for certain. They have to be: that’s how they find out how the world works, and how to adapt to it.
The trick is extending that natural curiosity into areas they wouldn’t have considered examining, such as mathematics, language and science. It’s all a question of making the subject entertaining.
And a question I’ve been thinking a lot lately: how can I raise my son so that I can keep his curiosity alive throughout the years?
The method we’ve found the best is not to give him an immediate answer to his questions, but to encourage him to work the answer out for himself through hints and suggestions.
There are two reasons for this: first, it will build his self esteem, and make him realize that he has the potential to work out problems. Second, he’s far more likely to remember the answer if he’s had to work at it; a one-word answer can be forgotten just as quickly as it’s learnt.
Are there any other super-important tips for beginner dads like myself?
The main one, really, is to lighten up. Dads - ourselves included - can all too easily get strung up about minor issues, and upset and irritated by things that really shouldn’t bother us so much. Try to take the time to step back from each problem and, if you can, look at it from the kid’s point of view.
This sounds much easier than it is, but if you can manage it you’ll have fewer arguments and more fun.
What do children teach you about being a dad
Your kids turn you into your parents.
Your kids turn you into your parents.
The first time you find yourself wiping away an ice cream smear with a kleenex, or reminding them to put a coat on when they go out, or telling them not to fiddle with their knife and fork, you’ll blanch with horror: this is exactly what your parents used to do to you! And, initially, it’s horrifying. But it does help us to re-evaluate our own parents; we’re the reason they became what they were.
Is there something more you would like to say to all the dads reading this post?
Have fun with your kids!
Every time you take them to the park, or on a car journey, or out shopping, don’t look on them as an encumbrance and count the minutes till it’s over. Find puzzles on the street for them to solve, so you keep up a dialog with them and help them to learn about the world around them.
Why does that building have a drainpipe running down the wall?
What do you think might be carried in that truck?
Why is that man carrying an empty box?
Do you think that tree is taller than our house, and how could we measure it?
How many lemons do you think there are in that crate?
There are always games to be played, puzzles to be solved, and conversations to be had. Use your ingenuity, encourage your kids to ask and answer questions, and remember: as a dad, you’re always on duty.
Now, your turn: What do you think makes a great dad? And to all the moms out there, how does this idea of dadhood sound to you? Let’s talk!
If you enjoyed this post and don't want to miss any of my new content, subscribe to my RSS feed or have the latest posts delivered straight to your e-mail inbox.
February 12th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I think these tips are actually great for moms and dads. My husband doesn´t get a lot of time with our kids because he is on tour with his band a lot, but I would love to see him interacting like this with them. I´ll have to translate the article for him. :D
February 12th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
My dad has definitely been a Hero Dad like this. He always knew the best tricks and had a problem to solve. But more important to that I find was that he used a lot of his time with us, the children. So I think, a great dad doesn’t need to be so interesting all the time, he just gives his time to the kids and he will be their Hero!
February 13th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
@Genesis: Yeah, I agree - while the kind of things that Steve and Simon share in their interview / books are more natural to dads than moms, it’s not only dads who are allowed to have fun with the kids. In fact, the most fun moments happen when the whole family spends time together.
What age are your kids, by the way?
@Lala: That’s absolutely right. My dad is also another example of a hero dad of a kind. But as you say the fact that he found time to spend with us was always the most important thing.
So, maybe being a hero (coming up with ideas, having fun with kids) goes hand in hand with spending time with the children. The tips from the guys interviewed may be the way how dads make the time with their children more fun and entertaining for themselves - and thus something they look forward. This in turn makes them (us) want to spend more time with their kids.
Does that make sense?
February 14th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Is this a “soft spot” to older dads or what is the reason why all the commenters are women ? :)
“…and thus something they look forward.” - makes complete sense.
This whole hero-dad-thing sounds great! Those tips would also be useful to moms too…actually especially to moms because when your always taking care of the essential its more hard to switch to the fun side of things…or not, dont know yet, things have just started.. :)
But anyways, really interesting topic! Have to get a hold of that book! :)
February 15th, 2008 at 10:37 am
@Veera: How about younger dads? :) You should try to get your husband to comment on this too…
What you say about moms makes a lot of sense!
February 27th, 2008 at 7:17 am
“Your kids turn you into your parents.”
I remember the first time I was out with my step son (my wife’s son from her first marriage). She, myself, and Michael (stepson) decided we wanted to go to the zoo. For some reason the zoo we went to had a splash pad (a miniature water park) which Michael absolutely loved. While at the splash pad my wife had to go make a phone call, so this was the first time I had to watch a child all by myself. There was a statue of a seal made of plaster, which looked extremely slippery because it was soaked. Sure enough, Michael asked me if he could go play on it. I told him no, it was too dangerous and find somewhere else to play. As soon as I wasn’t looking (for like 30 seconds), Michael runs over to this seal and starts to climb. As you can guess, he falls off it and looks at me with tears starting to well up in his eyes. After realizing he was OK, the first words out of my mouth were not to ask if he was all right. No, the first thing I said was “WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU!”. I swear, I had to look around to see if my dad had somehow showed up at the zoo, this is exactly what he would have said. Luckily I have since redeemed myself, but being responsible for children certainly makes you turn into your parents.
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I’m the type of dad who gets involved in the kids sports.
At home all of our computers except one are in the lounge room so we go onto multiplayer websites and others as a family.
March 3rd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
@Jamie: Great story! I’m sure that happens to all of us, sooner or later… Scary, huh?
@Glen: Sounds like fun! But are you sure multiplayer web sites can be considered as sports? ;)