When my son was two weeks old I wrote one of my most popular posts so far, Getting things done with a baby in the house. In that post I explained my rather optimistic plans on how to continue with all my goals as a father. Now Oiva is two months old so it’s about time to take a new look at the topic.

The formula I presented in my original post was rather simple:

1. Simplify by dropping out the things you don’t find that important
2. Concentrate better by planning a good schedule for all of your tasks
3. Apply the schedule… and accomplish your plans

Sounds good… Until reality hits you.

You can get (some) things done

1. A baby sleeps for about 12-16 hours per day, sometimes even more.So wouldn’t you think that there’s plenty of time to do whatever you want? But there is a catch: my son only sleeps when he’s being carried by someone. Some kids prefer being pushed in their carriages. But what’s common to all of them is that they rarely just sleep and let their parents mind their own businesses.

   This means that you can get things done, just as long as you choose your things correctly.

   A few days ago we spent the whole day at the Finnish Housing Fair. We walked around a rather big fair area visiting different houses and collecting ideas for decorating our home. It was great, Oiva was like a little angel. Here’s the trick: I knew that Oiva likes to sleep when carried, so I took him on my arm and let him stay there the whole time.

2. Children (usually) have two parents. If you can get your spouse to take care of the child for some time while you concentrate on your tasks that will help you get them done. Once again the trick is to choose your tasks well!If the thing you want to get done is useful for your wife or husband as well, she will be OK with the arrangement. If it isn’t… well… it’ll take much more persuasion.

   Today I decorated our living room by covering one of the walls with wallpaper. It was something that my wife and I planned together and both wanted to get done so she happily took care of our son and I got the wallpaper in place.

Routine things are harder

But if you think about the list of things I described as my goals in my original posts you notice that neither of these examples was on the list. The problem is that most of the things I outlined in my original posts cannot be done in this manner. They all require me to concentrate, so doing them while carry Oiva around the house isn’t really an option. And they aren’t really things that my wife would choose if it would be up to her to decide how I spend my time.

So, after two months many of my plans have been dropped or delayed due to the lack of efficient time to spend on them.

I haven’t had a morning appointment with myself after the first few weeks as a parent and I haven’t even touched my thesis. But then again I have been blogging almost as actively as I had planned, and I’ve been able to follow some RSS feeds and even read some books (although it takes me much longer to finish a book nowadays than before Oiva).

Is there a solution?

Yes, and no.

1. You just can’t do it all. So the first thing to do is to simplify some more. From your original short list, choose what you really really want to do. To me this means postponing my thesis still a bit more. I can do it later just as well.
2. Find a flexible way to work on your number one goal. Babies aren’t looking at their watches and they aren’t exactly good in patience either. So, if the baby doesn’t wait for you to finish your work before getting your attention, you need to be the flexible one. For example in blogging, try to work on your posts when your child is sleeping in his bed. Write posts in advance so if you slip from your schedule you won’t be missing your posting slots, or make your posting schedule more flexible.
3. Be patient. If you can’t get your tasks done, don’t fall in despair. Think about your baby and the great family you have. And remember that the most important thing you can do is to be a mother or father. You can continue on your own goals when you have time. If you lose one or two days because your kid doesn’t sleep at all, don’t let it put you down. Be with your family and continue with your goals when you have a better moment.

And actually, if you think about it, what’s the problem?

I have a great son, so it’s just normal that he becomes the center of my world. If some of my own goals have to wait, it’s not a problem for which I need to be looking for a solution. It’s just the way life works.

Enjoy your children, and get something done!