Three most important Java libraries for a great marriage
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My brother Lauri got married yesterday. The wedding was nice, the bride looked beautiful (the groom wasn’t bad either) and everyone had a good time. But I didn’t get a chance to give a speech so I decided to write this small blog post instead. This is for you Lauri!
As Lauri is a programmer, I’m a programmer and Sunday is the Hands on Software theme day here at JarkkoLaine.com, I’m sharing a few tips on coding a better Husband class using some great Java libraries.
1. LoveMeTender.jar: You should let your spouse feel loved - unconditionally. This is something more than just saying “I love you”. Actually, if you’re not the type to say those exact words, I don’t think it’s such a big deal: Actions speak louder than words anyway.
This jar package gives you some super important features that you can use as building blocks when coding your Husband class. For example you could start by adding timely calls to the static methods cleanUpTheHouse(), doTheDishes(), and serveBreakfastInBed() that can be found inside the LoveActions class. I think these are some of the everyday ways of saying I love you. Listening is the most important, but there’s a whole library available for that purpose, so I’ll leave that as it’s own bullet.
Of course from time to time it’s good to choose some more romantic and special actions (for example when your wife is really tired or stressed). At times like that you can turn to the classes RomanticActions and RomanticWords. RomanticActions contains methods such as giveMassage(), washHerFeet(), and buyAGift(). RomanticWords helps you find nice ways to say “I love you” in different languages and situations.
2. CommunicationHelper.jar: Although “I love you” is a good start, communication is much more complicated than that. Luckily there is this great package called CommunicationHelper.jar. It’s a package of interfaces and helper classes for creating a healthy communication between spouses.
Most importantly, you should start by implementing the following interfaces: DreamListener, NeedListener, and FeelingListener. They are quite easy to implement following the Observer design pattern, the hard part is designing the action to take when the observer is triggered making sure that you actually understand the observed event and can give a proper response to it.
To make it easier to understand the events you receive through the observer functionality, CommunicationHelper.jar provides a helper class WomanFacade. This class is a simplified interface to your wife that translates most of her needs into a language a simple man can understand.
But don’t get it wrong. The most challenging part is not understanding the needs but choosing how to react. Sometimes you may get a feeling of just ignoring them (maybe you’re working on a blog post or some amazing algorithm and don’t feel like being interrupted) or saying something that you regret later. Therefore it’s important to moderate your reactions and try to say positive things instead of negative ones. It is said that it takes nine positive comments to counteract the effect of one negative comment. So, one last class from this package that you might find helpful is ComplimentPool, a helper class that helps you choose the correct compliment for any situation.
3. LifeShare.jar: As a last thing in the list I want to present this important library, LifeShare.jar. I think the more you use it the easier your life together becomes - so make sure not to ignore it. Before getting married you’ve been the sole owner of your own life, but now things change. You are living with someone, planning to live the rest of your life with her - your life is not yours only anymore. This can be scary, and it definately isn’t quite that easy, so LifeShare.jar comes in pretty handy.
The library comes with a bunch of useful utilities for making it easier for you to manage your sharing. MoneyPool is a good start. This class collects your income, puts it all into a common pile and then blurs the way you see the ownership. Another good tool is TimeShare. It allocates your time so that you share as much of it as possible, but still gives you some of your own time to work on your own projects. DreamShare helps you find out your own and common dreams and share them.
Sharing dreams, hopes, responsibilities is a key to successfully implementing a Husband. You shouldn’t be hiding your parameters from your wife (although making variables private still is considered a virtue in Java) - maybe you can consider implementing a visitor interface that allows your wife to see inside your mind? But in general, the more you share, the easier it is to successfully use the helper classes provided by LoveMeTender.jar and CommunicationHelper.jar.
Value your wife, love her and appreciate her dreams and hopes. Take her as she is (but not for granted) and share everything. And remember to really listen to her and be ready to admit that sometimes you are wrong and she is right.
I’m wishing you the best of luck. May God bless your marriage and may you live happily forever after!
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August 21st, 2007 at 9:32 am
Thanks Jarkko! There were some really good advices there that I should try out. ;) I think the WomanFacade is one of the most crucial classes.
August 21st, 2007 at 9:41 am
Haha! It took a while for you to notice this post ;)
Glad you liked it though! See you next weekend!