Getting things done with a baby in the house
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My son was born about two weeks ago. I’m a dad now. A dad with tons of dreams and plans for what he wants to do in his life. Is it possible to combine my own plans and taking good care of my kid or not? That’s what I’m about to find out.
I happen to believe that one of the most important gifts for a child is to see his parents pursue their dreams. It gives a positive example of reaching towards your goals and motivates the child to become what he wants to be instead of just conforming to other people’s dreams. But there is one problem: time. When the baby seems to require all your time it can be hard to fit your own projects in the few 24 hours we’re given every day.
Let’s see what goals I had before my son was born:
- Wake up at 5.30 every day
- Have a daily morning appointments with myself
- Spend some time with my wife
- Go to work every day for 8 hours of game programming to earn a living for my family
- Build this blog and maintain my tumble log
- Get started with my master’s thesis and finish the computer science studies
- Start to do some freelance work on the side
- Follow lots of interesting blogs
- Read a lot
- Write a book
- Try to stay involved in the development of the Finnish game development site Suomipelit.com
…and some more goals can be found in my 43 Things profile.
A whole lot of stuff for just one guy. Well, add a baby to it and it becomes obvious that I can’t do it all at the same time. During this past week I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as of how to prioritize my goals, what kind of daily habits are needed to be able to get something done, what do I really want to do, and so on.
Step 1: Simplify
One thing I’ve learned from Leo at Zen Habits is that you should try to simplify your life in order to make it easier to handle. And now it clear that this was a case for simplification.
First I decided to cut off everything that isn’t satisfying me at least on some level:
- Suomipelit.com involvement: It’s been a great project for many years, but already for a few years I haven’t had enough time and interest to stay strongly involved, so it’s time to let go and let the younger take over.
- Overtime work: I’ve been working quite long hours in the past. And as my overtime is not compensated in money there is no reason to go on collecting more overtime work hours. It’s already hard to find time to take back the hours collected so far…
- TV: I don’t watch TV that much anyway, but now that Finland is moving to completely digital TV broadcasting it’s a great chance to turn off the TV for good.
The next step was to cut off the things that I enjoy but are just eating up too much of my time:
- Some blogs: I divided my RSS feeds in two categories, level-1 and level-2, in Google Reader. From these my plan is to only read the level-1 unless I sometimes happen to have a few more free hours than planned. Then I can skim through the level 2 as well to see if some of these blogs actually should be on the level 1 list.
- Reading: Reading is an important part of who I am so I cannot cut it off completely. But some alignments need to be done. So, no more newspapers or magazines for me if I want to be able to read at least a few books during the year.
- Instant messaging: During work days it’s quite easy to get distracted with instant messaging. So, when I go back to work next week, I’ll turn MSN messenger off. However, I don’t want to lose touch with my friends so I’m trying to make them use some not-that-instant messaging service such as Campfire or Twitter to chat with me.
And last but not least, some of the goals need to be pushed a bit more to the future so that instead of starting them during this year, I can start doing them once my thesis is finished:
- Freelance work: I’m still willing to do this as soon as I get some more free time from my other goals, but not now I wouldn’t be able to deliver good enough quality in a decent time line so it’s better not to do anything at this point.
- The book: I definitely want to write a book some day, but now I don’t have time for this. I’ll still finish the few interviews that I have started (some parts of them will also be posted here at my blog) but won’t start any new ones for now.
When simplifying it’s important not to simplify in the wrong areas. If you cut off all the things that you enjoy and keep the ones that feel mandatory and work-like you won’t be able to make it in the long run. So, I want to keep the things that define who I am and want to be:
Step 2: Keep the important
- Morning appointments: I started this habit a few weeks before my son was born and it’s been great! After the test period it would be a shame to drop this habit completely. I might have to make the appointment shorter and skip it some days, but my plan is to keep doing it as often as possible.
- Blogging: I love writing and expressing myself. And now I finally started a blog that lets me do that - so how could I let it go? Also, I think that blogging will be a good way to clear my mind from all the work and studying.
- Reading: both books and RSS feeds, listening to inspiring podcasts. These keep me going and keep me happy and focused.
- Family time: This is probably the most important thing. Although there is a lot of work to do, I need to dedicate some time to my wife and son every day and especially on weekends. What’s the point in having kids if you don’t spend time with them?
Step 3: Focus
Simplification is great - it makes me feel that maybe it is actually possible to get my tasks completed in a year (starting from today) - but it’s not enough. To make most out of the time I have I need to focus on the things I’m working on at any given time. Multitasking might be good for computers, but it just doesn’t work for humans. So, my plan is to create a schedule for my days so that every activity has its own time and place. With a baby I’ll have to be a bit flexible, but even then I think it’s better to just switch the order of items in the schedule than to try to do many things at once.
- Wake up early: This helps me get my work done as quickly as possible and get back home to the family before everyone is already asleep.
- Batch work: RSS feeds, personal e-mails and messaging will be done only during one hour each day, and not throughout the day.
- Dedicated time: Time for blogging, time for the family, time for my studies. During each of the dedicated time slots I’ll turn all other distractions off and concentrate on whatever I’m doing at that moment.
- Plan Most Important Tasks: Every morning after my morning appointment and before heading to work I’ll go through the most important things that need to be achieved during the day, both work related and personal. This way I’ll be better aware of my tasks and don’t just wander through the day.
Ready for Take-Off
My process is most likely going to evolve into something even more interesting and more realistic during the coming months, and I’ll keep you posted on my successes and failures. At this point I’m happy to get started but at the same time a bit scared of how this will actually go. Will I be able to get up early when the baby has been crying all night long, or am I too tired to study after my work day. This we’ll find out soon!
I hope this can be an inspiration to someone, or in the worst case a warning example on how you shouldn’t try to do too much at once. And it’s my life, so I’m eagerly waiting to get good ideas from people who have already done something similar. Let me know what part of my plans sucks and what’s good about them.
And now it’s time to put all the talk to practice. Good luck, Jarkko!
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